1. What you seek is what you need from yourself:
The most important thing to understand about your need for approval from others is that whatever it is that you want from others, whether it's to tell you that you're beautiful, smart, or good enough, that is what you need to heal within yourself. You don't believe that aspect about yourself so you search for it elsewhere. Once you realize that you've discovered the part of you that needs healing, you'll no longer search for it in others. It's an awareness of yourself.
The most important thing to understand about your need for approval from others is that whatever it is that you want from others, whether it's to tell you that you're beautiful, smart, or good enough, that is what you need to heal within yourself. You don't believe that aspect about yourself so you search for it elsewhere. Once you realize that you've discovered the part of you that needs healing, you'll no longer search for it in others. It's an awareness of yourself.
By paying attention to your actions, you can figure out what you're trying to achieve. For example, you sign up to volunteer with a few local charities. Now, when you think about helping this charity, what do you think about?
- Do you imagine yourself telling people how you're helping others?
- Do you imagine the respect in other people's eyes when they hear about your endeavors?
- Do you imagine how proud your parents are going to be of you?
- Do you imagine the respect in other people's eyes when they hear about your endeavors?
- Do you imagine how proud your parents are going to be of you?
If you do, it may not be the cause you're really concerned about but more your quest for approval from others in the form of respect. You want others to respect you for working on such an honorable cause.
It won't work though. People won't respect you until you respect yourself. So, when you find yourself seeking activities in order to gain approval from others, turn it around and ask yourself what it is that you really need. If it's respect, then explore that aspect of yourself. Figure out why you don't respect yourself. Heal that part of yourself and learn to give yourself the deep respect you truly do deserve.
This is the most important thing to understand. Once you figure out what it is that you need from yourself, you'll find that you no longer search for it from others. Then when you do engage in certain activities, you will get so much more from them because they'll be done for the right reasons.
2. Be accountable and take responsibility:
You need to stand up and take on the responsibility for providing yourself with what you truly need. For example, if you've been searching for love then you need to love yourself first.
You need to stand up and take on the responsibility for providing yourself with what you truly need. For example, if you've been searching for love then you need to love yourself first.
It's a matter of discovering why you lack that feeling (abusive childhood, bad past experience, etc) and then learning to give that feeling to yourself anyway.
Accepting this responsibility can sometimes feel uncomfortable. It feels easier to stay in your comfort zone and deny that inner voice. It may take courage as well to dig deep inside yourself. The rewards for facing your fear will be life altering. You'll free yourself from those demons in the back of your mind simply by exposing them to the light.
If you need some ideas on how to accomplish this, take a look at "Changing Core Beliefs" and also "Let Go Of Your Past"
The bottom line is that only you can provide yourself with that deepest need. No one else can give it to you.
You also won't be able to truly give it to anyone until you give it to yourself first.
A wonderful gift for learning to meet your own needs is that others will then give it to you as well. So, as soon as you learn to love yourself you will then be able to truly love others and they will love you. But, it can't happen until you take the first step.
3. It’s Your Life – Value It:
It’s your life and you should enjoy it and all that it offers. It’s a waste of your life to spend it chasing approval from others. Focus on your life and discover what you need and what you want. You deserve this.
It’s your life and you should enjoy it and all that it offers. It’s a waste of your life to spend it chasing approval from others. Focus on your life and discover what you need and what you want. You deserve this.
"your life would be different if you stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the dayYou stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others."
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